My Opinion on “The Confidence Code” by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman
In this article, I will be talking to you about my opinion after reading the audiobook version of the New York Times bestseller, “The Confidence Code”. I hope you enjoy this article and read the book for yourself, developing your own views.
Summary of the Book:
The book explores the idea of why women doubt themselves and lack faith in their abilities, leading to a reduction in their confidence. There are many different factors that cause this such as the way women take failure as opposed to men, the pressure that women feel working alongside men, as well as the idea that some people are born with more confidence than others. Interviews and talks with different people all the way from WNBA players to primate specialists, different insights are gathered about why women are less confident and how they can improve it by implementing a growth mindset into their everyday lives.
After reading the book, I thought of 3 questions answered by the book, backed up by strong evidence curated by experts in the field. These are my 3 burning questions. Why are men are more confident than women, what the “confidence code” really is, and if people are just born with confidence?
- Why are men more confident than women?
Starting from a young age, men are much more confident than women. In the classroom, boys will immediately raise their hand, even if they are unsure whether their response makes sense in the current situation. On the other hand, girls are much more reserved, barely ever raising their hands and feeling pressured to do better than the boys. Time and again, boys show that confidence is even more important than competence or actual skill. They tend to overestimate their abilities on exams and score worse than they expected to. However, failures do not linger with boys, unlike girls, who take failure in a much more intense way at the other end of the spectrum. Part of this confidence in boys may be attributed to increased male participation in activities such as sports. Sports, also known as the “birthplace of confidence” is where even the most reserved kids can gain confidence by growing in their ability along with others to support them along the way. In fact, a study shows that girls who participate in high school sports are more likely to work in better jobs than girls who don’t. This again goes to show that sometimes, skill does not equal success. Now, let’s take a moment to look at some of the most confident women in most societies. Running up and down a hardwood court, toughing out fouls and injuries, you would think that WNBA players have an unlimited supply of confidence in themselves. However, after an interview with WNBA players, Monique Curry and Crystal Langhorne, they said that even they lack confidence, comparing their performance to how NBA players do. Even though all of this insight uncovers traits that lead to confidence, we still haven’t uncovered how people get their confidence, bringing us to our next question.
2. Are people just born with confidence?
Kay and Shipman travel to neuropsychologist Steve Suomi’s research labs in Maryland filled with many unique monkeys, Rhese’s monkeys. You may be wondering, what is so unique about them? This particular species shares a “confidence” gene with humans known as SLC6A4. The gene’s purpose is to transport serotonin, a monoamine neurotransmitter that is responsible for mood, cognition, memory, etc. However, between the Rhese’s monkeys, the efficiency of the gene differs, causing some monkeys to be playful and some to be solitary. If this is the case for monkeys, our closest animal relatives, then this may explain why there is a confidence difference between women and men. However, confidence is not gained by birth alone, it is also gained by successes, praise, and most importantly, a growth mindset.
3. What really is the “Confidence Code”
In sports and business, women feel that they must succeed leaving no room for failure as well as a growth mindset. This may be because women have pressure from both their families and their jobs and cannot fail to provide their time and effort for either one. They leave no room for themselves to learn from their experiences and don’t give themselves a chance. If they do not do this, then their confidence will not receive a boost. On the bright side, female CEOs and business leaders have undergone these struggles, and instead of looking at mishaps as failures, they have understood that they should be taken as learning opportunities in order to drive them on the path to success. These women pioneers are now helping others to grow and gain confidence along the way. By doing this, they are building a confidence code that will help not only women but everyone to build their confidence by persevering, failing, and succeeding.
My Opinion
I think that this book brought up a well-known topic about how women, in particular, have had less confidence than other people in society due to the pressures they face, their fixed mindset, as well as their social class. The book also gave reasonable evidence to prove why women are less confident. However, one idea in particular, that people are born with confidence, is something that I disagree with. I strongly believe that confidence is determined by factors such as success, social interaction, as well as how others perceive you. For example, if you studied hard for an exam, you will be confident that your test results will be very good. However, you may be teased and ridiculed by your friends for being a “nerd” and spending all your time studying. This may lead to a downfall in confidence depending on how harshly you take the teasing. These events in the early stages of life are how your character develops and sets the stage for your confidence level. Now, people’s personalities can change as they get older and with this change may come to a variation in their confidence level.
In conclusion, while I support the authors’ claim about how confidence can be changed, I strongly believe that you are the controller of your own confidence and you have the ability to determine how confident you are of yourself and your abilities.
